"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." (E.L. Doctorow)
Right now, I have the urge to write. Unfortunately, my current 'novel' that I've been working on for some time has hit a bit of a wall at 20,179 words and my attempts at poetry are infantile. I write this blog as an outlet for my opinions but my real love is for fantasy. It's infinitely more interesting than real life. So many people want to publish a book though - I almost cringe whenever I tell people this is my dream. I feel like I'm jumping on a bandwagon. It is honestly my passion. I've written since I was tiny and remember my first complete story was called Slither The Snake (I even illustrated it myself) and gave it to my mum as a present.
I probably will never summon up the courage to send my writing off for consideration. I haven't even shown much of it to my friends and family. I tend to crumble when criticised and know you have to be pretty thick-skinned to get published. Thinking about how many publishers refused JK Rowling before she succeeded makes me feel queasy.
It annoys me that so many people good authors will never get published. Yet, Katy Price, aka Jordan, has published fiction. The one I saw was called Angel and had a pink cover. Apparently it's "a perfect book for the beach". I nearly threw up in rage. She may have a writing talent but I think we can safely say she got published because she's famous. There are a lot of 'pink' books out there and many read rather similarly. Why does she get noticed? Most authors write every day of their lives and get hardly any recognition.
Interestingly, I realised recently that I write better when depressed. In fact, when my life is happy and fulfilling and I am busy with my friends and getting on with my work, I hardly write at all. This makes sense to an extent and probably explains why so many great authors are a little neurotic. True artistry comes from a messed up mind.
I'm going to keep writing because I enjoy it. Even if no one notices. Maybe one day I will send something off hoping for publishing. The worst they can do is refuse me (and tear my confidence and story to shreds) but I'll never know if I don't try.