Tuesday, 3 July 2012

A Dangerous Business

"It's a dangerous business, going out your front door. You step onto the road and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." (JRR Tolkien)

Officially this year marks the end of my years at college. I will hopefully be passing my exams and going to university and that can only end in me growing up and getting a real job. I am terrified.

School and college have been some of the best (and easiest) years of my life. It's slightly worrying to see how much I have changed in that time. Definite 'growing-up' has gone on and it would actually be a lie for me to say I feel I haven't changed. Some parts have improved and others deteriorated but that's unavoidable. I've learnt a lot academically and realised a bit about myself, which is always a good thing ultimately. I now know what I want to do with myself in most aspects of my life. In a way I can't wait to get onto that but I am a bit of an old woman and this sort of change is a little scary. Hence the LotR quote at the start.  

I thoroughly enjoyed my education and don't like the idea of leaving it for the real world. I was thinking today how far I could draw out my university years. My BA degree will take three years, then a Master's, if I could do one, would be another year and I have no idea how long it takes to get a Doctorate. I doubt I could fund that sort of thing, unless I won the lottery, so will have to come to terms with the fact I only have three years left before I am released into society, hopefully with a degree and hopefully with a plan. 

I will miss my friends. We're going to university, not prison, so although I know this isn't a complete goodbye, it still will never be quite the same for us again. I acquired a group of people over the years so socially awkward themselves that they accepted me and we had some very good times. I know I will keep in contact with my close girl friends but my more extended group are going to all sorts of places and it's less likely our paths will cross. 

At times we were a motley crew but I loved them all unconditionally and I know they would put up with me whatever I did. My boyfriend is going to a far off university too and I try not to think about how that will turn out. More cheerily though, we have a whole summer together before we leave and have lots of plans. I am looking forward to what happens and whatever happens it's been tons of fun so far.

I'm just hoping I can fit what I need in my suitcase for uni. So far I have everything except the kitchen sink on a list of stuff I need. I am a worrier and therefore want to be ready for every eventuality. I'm pretty sure this is impossible but I will give it a good try. Chances are, I'll forgot something stupid - like my toothbrush. I have the whole summer to get ready though.

I am rather excited!   


  1. Fab blog! I am really excited for you! You will love university! As for how long you can string it out for, I did a three year degree, then one year postgrad, I am now doing a Masters than I have managed to string out for three years so far and a doctorate can be anything upwards of 4 years, usually about 6 years! Then there is post-doctorate research degrees.........! Then you could always become a uni lecturer and never leave!!
    Hope you have a great summer and don't forget my birthday celebrations on the 12th August! (Although actual birthday is on the 8th!). Plus Claire 2 and I want to see you before you go to uni. Its very important!

  2. I also wish to drag out education for as long as possible. The real world is too big and scary :) I will seriously miss our weird and wonderful group. Now I have to make new friends :( It took me long enough to get these ones Lol

  3. I come at this from a differnet angle as i never did the uni thing in the end (although i got a place i turned it down and started work) I found it isn't as scary as it sounds and the one advantage i had was not having to look for a job at the same time as lots of other uni grads, i also didn't have a loan to pay off when i started work, so i could afford to get a decent place to live with my wages.
    The big wide world isn't as bad as it seems. x